By Dave Mangene
When Americans travel abroad, you can spot us easily because we have a certain look: baseball caps, white sneakers, white socks, shorts (even in cold weather), and Body Mass Index.
Although this may be true, I think there's an even better way to identify Americans, and you won't even need your eyes.
All you need to do is listen.
You can hear us coming from a mile away, because we are LOUD AS HELL.
Loud voices. Loud laughter. Loud pats on the back. MAKE SOME NOISE!!!
Have you noticed?
If you've spent time near the Bulldog in Amsterdam, the Eiffel Tower in Paris, or a biergarten in Munich, then you know what I'm talking about.
You, the European, will be quietly sipping your wine and BOOM! The noise will hit you like a Florida hurricane. It might come from that group of Americans over there, but it could also just be one guy. He's having fun, living the life, traveling the world and when he wants to laugh, you're gonna hear about it.
You may even think that Americans are arguing about something because our voices are raised above the other people. But we're not fighting. We're just having a good time and ISN'T PARIS AMAZING!!!
Why all the noise?
The first reason is personal space. Americans require more space than everyone else. We come from a huge, sparsely populated country (New York City not included). Americans grow up with the space to spread out. We don't want to get too close. We need a little elbow room. To communicate, though, we need to be heard. So we speak up, in order to hear each other from farther away.
Another reason Americans are so loud is the way we set up our bars and restaurants. Basically, the TVs blare and the music blasts. You've gotta speak loudly to be heard.
A third possible reason is our culture of 'self-expression'. From the earliest of ages we are told to use our voices. To say our words. To speak up. If we don't, we are deemed 'quiet' or 'shy' which makes social acceptance difficult in a land of extroverts.
Although the Dutch are known for their quiet, reserved character, they also have a social behavior that, much like loudness, could be perceived as a faux-pas:
they are notoriously bad tippers.
When I suggest that the going rate for tips in New York is 20%, they fall out of their chairs.
"Twenty percent!!!" they blurt, albeit rather quietly. "Belachelijk."
Why are they bad tippers?
First, part of the stereotype is true: the Dutch are careful with money. They are Calvinists and it's in their nature to save rather than spend. They don't like to live on credit. Most Dutch people rarely use their credit card, and even when they do, it's probably a monthly debit account and not revolving credit. The whole 'going Dutch' thing is an extension of this cultural norm. Split the costs equally between all people.
But there is more to this than just Calvinist thriftiness.
The Dutch don't tip much because waiters in Holland actually get paid a livable wage. They earn a proper salary and don't need the tips. Tipping obviously happens in Dutch restaurants but, generally speaking, all tips are put into a communal 'jar' that is later divided among the wait staff. If a customer wants to reward excellent service he must say to the waiter, "this tip is for you because you did a great job. Keep it for yourself." Only then will the waiter pocket the cash. Otherwise it goes into the jar.
The good news is that waiters in Holland aren't poor. The bad news is they don't have much incentive. When a Dutch waiter lacks much intrinsic motivation out of love for his job, you will get shitty service and, if you're American, it will drive you crazy. By the end of your meal you will want to take the waiter outside and punch him in the ear. Or at least you'll complain LOUDLY so everyone can hear.
Big tipping in Holland is met with suspicion. Most often, a big tip is regarded by a waiter as a signal that says, "I want something from you." Generally, this makes waiters uncomfortable, even defensive, and won't help to get better service. Usually it does the opposite; it creates an awkwardness that leads to worse service. I have learned this one the hard way.
So, it's not just giving big tips that makes Dutch people uncomfortable. Receiving big tips makes them feel just as bad.
Another difference worth noting when it comes to money, Americans, and Dutch people, is the concept of 'being invited'.
In Holland, if someone invites you, it means they are paying. An invitation makes you a guest, and guests in Holland are well taken care of. Guests are the receivers. So if a Dutch person makes a point to say, "I'm inviting you to the concert" or "I'm inviting you to dinner", they will pick up the check. You'll annoy them if you try to pay, as if you don't trust them to be truly hospitable.
There is little chance that either of these deeply rooted cultural traits will change. Americans will be LOUD, and the Dutch will never tip big. Which is fine with me. It's these idiosyncracies that keep things interesting. But, if you do happen to be going to New York sometime soon - it's 20% or else...
~ DAVE
POSTSCRIPT - for weekly tips on American language and culture, click here.
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